Definitely Comfort

Since the news of my friend’s death, I’ve definitely been struggling with my eating. The(emotional) part of me just wants the comfort and reliability/stability of eating the foods that make me happy, if only for that moment. The other (sensible) part of me believes that saying, “one moment on the lips, lifetime on the hips”, is oh so true.

I’d come up with a compromise that I thought I could live with for now. I could give in to one of the temptations, say a slice of cake, and the next 2 days I had to follow a perfect food plan with an extra exercise session, no exceptions. Well, that sounded good in my head, but I know now I am not strong enough to turn the brakes off and on like that. It’s all or nothing. The urges are so overwhelming. I wanted to stuff those feelings waaaayyy down up under some fried chicken, cake, cookies, chips, and rice. It’s too late now, I’ve done the damage and now I deal with the guilt, shame, and remorse from committing the crime.

Sometimes, trying to recover from letting myself down, is difficult I just want to give up. But I still believe that I can overcome this pattern.

Tomorrow is another day.